please, if you have any reservations about reading crass language, stop & wait until my next post. & don't think any less of wes & i ...b/c you haven't lived our day.
***
so what is the title of this post referring to? well, wes & i went to this movie awhile ago, while my parents watched the girls, away we go was the movie. pretty good, made us laugh. anyway, during the movie the couple asked themselves several times 'are we fuck ups? i think we are fuck ups for sure.' so wes & i have had this joke going back & forth when something near disastrous happens or we're just all melancholy & weepy & then we ask the other person, are we fuck ups? & it will usually get a good laugh from us.
today (& parts of the past month!) confirms it: we are fuck ups.
b/c adeline couldn't imagine living life without something on the back patio as wes was shutting the sliding door & amelia was also racing out the door...adeline used amelia as a floor. she ran over her bottom & didn't listen as her daddy told her (in his most firm voice) addy stop! she ran right over amelia's head, quickly & fervontly digging it into the sharp metal tracks of the door with her feet. we never did find out what was so important to adeline that she would risk getting shut in a door. anyway, amelia was instantly covered in blood & shaking & screaming. wes took her (i am so not good with blood) & i took adeline for a good talking to that ended with adeline also screaming (i believe in response to amelia's screams of agony). the verdict: amelia split her tongue, from tip to towards the back. the split is probably as long as her front tooth. & if you've never seen this before--which i hadn't before today--you don't want to. it's very amazingly gross. tongue flappin' around where it shouldn't be, blood pouring out, parents panicking, baby girl trampled, preschool girl feeling very crappy about herself & crying on her time out chair.
so that is nearly behind us. the nurse told us there's not much a doctor could do for us & recommended that we give her a popsicle. amelia abhors cold things, especially frozen food, so my attempt at a simple ice cube in a teething mesh-thing was quickly refused & thrown across the room. yes, she does have a good arm! (thank you for noticing, lol)...but under no circumstances are we to give her any food above luke-warm temperatures. & amelia refuses most bottles that are not *hot* so we are looking at a dire situation. oh & no table food, which is the bulk of her food intake at this point. the nurse also mentioned that we could give her some pudding. my heart skipped a beat. i could do pudding! so i made some yogurt pops with peaches for tomorrow then i put amelia in her high chair next to the stove (agreed? what kind of a mama puts a baby in a high chair next to a flame & hot pan?! fuck ups. but it worked out. this time.) & made the pudding. she ate about half a bowl (oh, about one serving size) for dinner then i shoved the bottle down her throat, trying to avoid the tip of her tongue (it had bled off & on throughout the afternoon of discontent, aka millie didn't sleep longer than 9 minutes at a time for 1 hour, which seems to me to add up to around 20 minutes somehow b/c of how long it would take to get her back to sleep). point is: amelia is in a lot of pain, plus teething (so she's shoving everything in her mouth, leading now to more tongue pain & bleeding). we hopped her up on benedryl tonight, wish us luck!
the 2nd foul of the day happened just recently. while i was putting amelia down at an astoundingly early hour (7:15!), wes took adeline for a walk around the hood. on the way home, addy was jumping off large rocks. first jump into the grass went find. 2nd jump that daddy said no to but she did it anyway, well the 2nd jump she landed on the concrete, then skidded her lips across the concrete. ouch. so she came back with quite a big lip, something a bird would probably try to land on if given the chance. i heard wes come into the house & ask me if i had started to soak the bloody clothes from earlier. i said almost. he said we have more, b/c we're fuck ups. & i walk upstairs to see addy putting on her brave face with a blankie from the stroller half covered in her blood. but, smart adeline used this to her advantage to snag a few m&m's & then also some chocolate chips from the open bag.
yesterday, amelia pooped & peed on the floor twice each (hmm, she peed 3 times actually) while a friend was over. a friend i don't know very well. a friend who is pregnant & easily nauseous. she didn't leave our house screaming & running, though. but still, there goes buck naked amelia (b/c she had a terrible diaper rash, so we let her wiggle & crawl around without a diaper to speed the healing process. really works). anyway, amelia's crappin' all over the place & peeing & grinning the whole time. that was after i also found a huge spider on a blanket that i was giving her (out of a bag that had been sitting on our porch for almost a week, mind you...she is getting a lot of our baby girl clothes).
so we wonder, what do folks really think of us, with bloody kids & as you will read below, mostly naked wee ones with poop & pee being dropped at every turn.
***
why does adeline insist on being near naked most of the time? i'm really hoping this is normal for her age. (anyone want to agree with this?! please?). here's some examples:
the good thing about today is that i snuggled amelia & took a mama-heart-snapshot of her sprawled out on top of me, in her rocking chair, asleep & snoring softly. she had this little curl coming down in the middle of her forehead & then another straggler off to the left side of her head. she was my not so tiny baby, who only wanted to snuggle up to her mama & b/c wes took adeline for the afternoon, i was able to be there for amelia's every need (even if it was every 9 minutes) & i was hit with joy that i have chosen to stay home (that joy doesn't hit very often, lol). (& oh man, i'm not saying that working moms wouldn't be able to be there for their child in the time of need...these are just my thoughts from this). this whole harold situation has put a spotlight on some things & the decision to spend so much time with my girls that it drives me nutso, well, i've decided its a good one after all.
***
so what is the title of this post referring to? well, wes & i went to this movie awhile ago, while my parents watched the girls, away we go was the movie. pretty good, made us laugh. anyway, during the movie the couple asked themselves several times 'are we fuck ups? i think we are fuck ups for sure.' so wes & i have had this joke going back & forth when something near disastrous happens or we're just all melancholy & weepy & then we ask the other person, are we fuck ups? & it will usually get a good laugh from us.
today (& parts of the past month!) confirms it: we are fuck ups.
b/c adeline couldn't imagine living life without something on the back patio as wes was shutting the sliding door & amelia was also racing out the door...adeline used amelia as a floor. she ran over her bottom & didn't listen as her daddy told her (in his most firm voice) addy stop! she ran right over amelia's head, quickly & fervontly digging it into the sharp metal tracks of the door with her feet. we never did find out what was so important to adeline that she would risk getting shut in a door. anyway, amelia was instantly covered in blood & shaking & screaming. wes took her (i am so not good with blood) & i took adeline for a good talking to that ended with adeline also screaming (i believe in response to amelia's screams of agony). the verdict: amelia split her tongue, from tip to towards the back. the split is probably as long as her front tooth. & if you've never seen this before--which i hadn't before today--you don't want to. it's very amazingly gross. tongue flappin' around where it shouldn't be, blood pouring out, parents panicking, baby girl trampled, preschool girl feeling very crappy about herself & crying on her time out chair.
so that is nearly behind us. the nurse told us there's not much a doctor could do for us & recommended that we give her a popsicle. amelia abhors cold things, especially frozen food, so my attempt at a simple ice cube in a teething mesh-thing was quickly refused & thrown across the room. yes, she does have a good arm! (thank you for noticing, lol)...but under no circumstances are we to give her any food above luke-warm temperatures. & amelia refuses most bottles that are not *hot* so we are looking at a dire situation. oh & no table food, which is the bulk of her food intake at this point. the nurse also mentioned that we could give her some pudding. my heart skipped a beat. i could do pudding! so i made some yogurt pops with peaches for tomorrow then i put amelia in her high chair next to the stove (agreed? what kind of a mama puts a baby in a high chair next to a flame & hot pan?! fuck ups. but it worked out. this time.) & made the pudding. she ate about half a bowl (oh, about one serving size) for dinner then i shoved the bottle down her throat, trying to avoid the tip of her tongue (it had bled off & on throughout the afternoon of discontent, aka millie didn't sleep longer than 9 minutes at a time for 1 hour, which seems to me to add up to around 20 minutes somehow b/c of how long it would take to get her back to sleep). point is: amelia is in a lot of pain, plus teething (so she's shoving everything in her mouth, leading now to more tongue pain & bleeding). we hopped her up on benedryl tonight, wish us luck!
the 2nd foul of the day happened just recently. while i was putting amelia down at an astoundingly early hour (7:15!), wes took adeline for a walk around the hood. on the way home, addy was jumping off large rocks. first jump into the grass went find. 2nd jump that daddy said no to but she did it anyway, well the 2nd jump she landed on the concrete, then skidded her lips across the concrete. ouch. so she came back with quite a big lip, something a bird would probably try to land on if given the chance. i heard wes come into the house & ask me if i had started to soak the bloody clothes from earlier. i said almost. he said we have more, b/c we're fuck ups. & i walk upstairs to see addy putting on her brave face with a blankie from the stroller half covered in her blood. but, smart adeline used this to her advantage to snag a few m&m's & then also some chocolate chips from the open bag.
yesterday, amelia pooped & peed on the floor twice each (hmm, she peed 3 times actually) while a friend was over. a friend i don't know very well. a friend who is pregnant & easily nauseous. she didn't leave our house screaming & running, though. but still, there goes buck naked amelia (b/c she had a terrible diaper rash, so we let her wiggle & crawl around without a diaper to speed the healing process. really works). anyway, amelia's crappin' all over the place & peeing & grinning the whole time. that was after i also found a huge spider on a blanket that i was giving her (out of a bag that had been sitting on our porch for almost a week, mind you...she is getting a lot of our baby girl clothes).
so we wonder, what do folks really think of us, with bloody kids & as you will read below, mostly naked wee ones with poop & pee being dropped at every turn.
***
why does adeline insist on being near naked most of the time? i'm really hoping this is normal for her age. (anyone want to agree with this?! please?). here's some examples:
- last night, around 7:15 p.m. adeline was riding/pushing her tricycle down the sidewalk. she was about one house down & suddenly got off her trike & started dancing around like mad. it was immensely adorable, folks. then i watched in *horror* as she threw/kicked her shoes off & then proceeded to take her shorts off. then her underwear. (the whole time i'm pulling weeds & shrieking to her to get her clothes back on). adeline looks at me with a huge smile & then continues to do her dance. i walked over to wes, who was watering our weed--errr, veggie--garden to tell him that his daughter is naked from butt down & he needs to take care of her. b/c that was only the 4th or 5th time she's stripped down in a matter of milliseconds(!!) just that day (yes, in front a guest).
- after amelia's near death trample, wes took adeline to work with him. he grabbed videos & snacks to keep her occupied & it worked, from what i know she did great. except the conference room incident. she was watching her videos in the conference room--thankfully where no one else was--& suddenly had the urge to pee. in her dora undies & jeans. so naturally, she then decided to go nude b/c wowzers, those pee filled clothes are uncomfortable, right? so wes decides to check on adeline & walks in to find her sitting completely naked in a huge conference room style chair laughing & having a grand time watching dora. she looked at wes & said simply 'pee pee' & gave a sour look. so wes tells her to *STAY PUT* & goes off to his desk to get her 2nd pair of clothes (that i put in there for him, you're welcome) & then to his horror hears the little pitter patter of adeline accompanied with her giggles. yup, streaking child in an engineering office. you *know* that security guard watching the tapes is like "whhhaattt? i'm calling CPS!" oh my goodness is it so wonderful that none of wes' co-workers saw this sight; wes would never be able to live it down.
the good thing about today is that i snuggled amelia & took a mama-heart-snapshot of her sprawled out on top of me, in her rocking chair, asleep & snoring softly. she had this little curl coming down in the middle of her forehead & then another straggler off to the left side of her head. she was my not so tiny baby, who only wanted to snuggle up to her mama & b/c wes took adeline for the afternoon, i was able to be there for amelia's every need (even if it was every 9 minutes) & i was hit with joy that i have chosen to stay home (that joy doesn't hit very often, lol). (& oh man, i'm not saying that working moms wouldn't be able to be there for their child in the time of need...these are just my thoughts from this). this whole harold situation has put a spotlight on some things & the decision to spend so much time with my girls that it drives me nutso, well, i've decided its a good one after all.
Ha! This made me laugh out loud -- first the peeing and pooing Amelia and then the streaking Adeline.
ReplyDeleteAnd you ask what kind of momma would put her child near a stove. This momma. I once thought I'd blinded The Boy when, while he was sitting on the counter as I fixed dinner, minced garlic went flying out of hot oil. Hit his eyebrow, not his eye, but for a horrible second, I wondered how the heck I'd explain THAT injury to the ER folks.
We're all fuck ups sometimes.
oh my, you day got better after the split tongue eh? Maybe we should keep a record of the days that I visit you. I am starting to think that I am the F-up for your family. (you know I that word is repulsive to me, yet I love you enough to stick with reading your post...you know I must love you).
ReplyDeleteWe both laughed quite a while after just having some trials with the "nudist".....
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is she gets it honest enough -- I think all kids go through the "are clothes really necessary?" stage when potty training, but when small, you especially decided clothes were somewhat binding. When you guys were playing on the front porch and I would hear older kids on bicycles going by saying "look at that", I almost always knew what had happened. And then the famous early morning walk you took to Gma's with only your red boots with the white fur around the top is hard to beat.....so yeah, I've heard of kids doing this.....
Poor, poor Amelia. She does love to rock and snuggle, tho. If it makes you feel better, I was 5 when I had that nasty fall and ended up with stitches in my upper lip and gum tissue, and I do not remember pain, just the lovin that Gma-great gave me with banana cream pies....
Oh, shnickies! The tongue splitting just sounds awful, poor Amelia. But I must admit I was laughing hysterically during the rest of the post...I think we're all fuck-ups! Nothing ever goes as you plan, but we love 'em so that makes us ok! ")
ReplyDeleteWOW.
ReplyDeleteoh my dear girl. you are not a fuck up. seriously
ReplyDeleteHilarious - at least in khindsight! Either the desire to be naked 24/7 is totally normal for a 2ish year old, or we both have completely odd ones. Kendall wants every stitch of clothing off most hours of the day. Kevin put her down for a nap the other day, and when she woke up she was completely naked and had managed to get slippers on her feet during the slumber:) What an adventure!
ReplyDelete