this detox cleanse has taught me a thing or two about self denial. as has my daughter. & laura ingalls wilder's the long winter. this is something americans don't often run into, eh?, denying ourselves something. i don't usually practice lent, for reasons i won't get into right now *smile*, but i guess that's one of the only times i can think that self denial is at an institutional level, talked about with the masses. maybe a living 'green' idea? i dunno. but as i sit here with my first cup of coffee in 25 days...it is just so friggin' lusciously yummy...but instead of waiting the whole 28 days as my cleanse states, i'm cheating. i need coffee. i want it. it's been too long!, my friend, coffee. i may just trade in--if i could--my adrenal system for this daily cup of coffee (hell, it seems i *am* making that trade, so, yea, ah well). i'm sorry yogi tea company, but you do not compare to this cup of coffee...
so lesson 1: my 6 year old practices self denial every.single.day. & she has helped me make it through this. as you may know, she is dairy, tree nut, & gluten free. (& she cannot have egg dishes, but eggs as a minor ingredient are okay). so as i drink this nasty ass matter nutritional beverage, she is there saying with me how horrible it is, how it will be okay & as i'm gagging after drinking it, she is there with my water. when the conversation somehow turns to ice cream or coffee or any baked treats, adeline pats my shoulder & says "no sugar, mommy!", encouraging me in her little ways. & then she leads by example, with her multiple food intolerances & allergies. i hear how she wasn't sure if rice krispie treats are gluten & dairy free at school, so she instead grabbed some chocolate rice cakes from her snack bag at school (her teacher keeps this on hand for these times)...& then she comes home & tells me how good those chocolate rice cakes were. my dear, sweet adeline. as we drive past dairy queen, or see other kids getting ice cream & other such treats, she will watch them eat it & i can see how much she wants them...but instead she just sighs & says to me: aaahhh, dairy free! usually we have something for her, but we can't always be ready, so sometimes...she just goes into self denial mode...
then lesson 2: the laura ingalls wilder books. or any pioneers, or native americans for that matter (as my mom pointed out yesterday). it was basically the pioneer life, moving from where it was a bit more comfy but as more populated to a land where they may not have much all winter (we are reading the long winter right now to adeline, so this is particularly evident!). so i read a chapter & think to myself: i would not have made a good pioneer...could i eat nearly the same thing every day? could i go without light in the evenings, going to bed at 6 p.m. during the winter to save kerosene & such? i dunno.
then lesson 3: wes. he has gone without ice cream & sweet treats & coffee right along with me. that is self denial in its purest form. we have it in the house & yet he sat there with me, eating kale chips instead. & he has done this for years, going without gluten most of the time & without complaints. this husband of mine...is just so good to me. & good at denying things for himself to make my denying things easier. *sigh* what a man.
lesson 4: hello, veggies & fruits. you are a bit yummy, aren't you? in the week of the worst of this cleanse, when i could only eat a handful of fruits & veggies & beans i picked up this fugi apple & it was just so delicious. i was in awe of how a simple apple could taste so good...how often do i think of that as being the sweet treat instead of a whoopie pie? & kale chips...i used to think they were a bit, interesting. & theones from the store are pretty gross. but! making them myself, with a little salt, olive oil, & nutritional yeast & then baked...well, they are quite good! & healthy. amazing.
what else...?
amelia. year 4...has been so, so different than year 3. she has matured in many ways...many glorious ways. as in falling asleep by herself! apparently year 3 was just full of sleep issues & now she's over it somehow. at home she will sit & practice something (writing, coloring, drawing, games, puzzles, etc) for as long as it takes to perfect it. her attention span has increased to nearly what my attention span is, for real. i'm shocked.
she's there helping me bake. & let me tell you, she knows how to even out the flour with a knife, how to crack an egg, cut butter up...she knows that to add sugar & egg together means we have to let it beat together for a few minutes. i love it, her being there with me, washing her hands so carefully then telling me with her wee little pointer finger shaking at me: mommy, i make sure my fingers are CLEAN so i don't get any ggguuurrms (germs)!"
other times amelia will grab a lego set, such as the friends dog house...then she'll take it apart, get the little directions book & put it back together with a little help from me. it totally amazes me how her brain works with legos & puzzles. i think she will be a tetris star eventually...
when we get home from dropping addy at school, amelia just looks at me & asks, what are we going to do today, mommy? & she wants to plan it out...these two girls could be event planners. addy will plan out the day or even next weekend, down to what we eat, what we do in between bigger events. it's hilarious. & frustrating. because if for any reason those plans don't happen: the drama, oh the drama, right? ugh.
the favorite game being played here is called "friends travel"...the two kiddos pack their bags with clothes, pack up their dolls with their wee suitcases, set up a car or airplane or whatever & go to a certain destination. sometimes they don't want me involved at all, as if my imagination is not up to par to their wonderful world of make believe. which, it probably isn't! but what it all comes down to: my house can be completely overrun by "friends travel" plans in less than an hour. i can be downstairs sorting & folding laundry for 20 minutes & come back to doll/friends land explosion. i must remind myself that this is totally okay. my kids are living in their imagination instead of tv world, this is good, right? playland can be cleaned up...
I.E.P. PANDAS....this has been so entirely frustrating. medical bills. pre-authorization. insurance phone conversations. diagnosis. federal disability laws. OMT appointments. physical therapy or acupuncture? more blood work or another audiogram? school audiologist or private? dietician or doctor?
thankfully wes has taken care of most of the medical & insurance stuff. just because i'm what we call now, the closer. the bad cop. when the insurance needs are hard line talker, it's me. wes is the negotiator. don't you love it? *smile* it can all just get a bit overwhelming, however, mentally & financially, you know? but it seems one day wes will be worried about it all & that just so happens to be the day that i'm feeling optimistic about it all. then the next day we switch roles & he's able to give me that hug & tell me we'll get through this.
anyway, folks, i've drank my cup of coffee. the snow is coming down, finally. we have a grandma in the house for the weekend (yes, the girls are overjoyed!!). legos & doll clothes are out & i even have a written grocery list for later...AND i get to hold a wee little newborn today, sweet little aoifa...& hug my dear friend, the new mama....& coffee is back in my life! hello, my dear friend. i've missed you. but i have noticed that i take much less sugar in my coffee now. which is good. because sugar is kinda like gluten, i've discovered this past month: it's in everything! a can of beans. marinara sauce. why?!
enough of this rambling...
so lesson 1: my 6 year old practices self denial every.single.day. & she has helped me make it through this. as you may know, she is dairy, tree nut, & gluten free. (& she cannot have egg dishes, but eggs as a minor ingredient are okay). so as i drink this nasty ass matter nutritional beverage, she is there saying with me how horrible it is, how it will be okay & as i'm gagging after drinking it, she is there with my water. when the conversation somehow turns to ice cream or coffee or any baked treats, adeline pats my shoulder & says "no sugar, mommy!", encouraging me in her little ways. & then she leads by example, with her multiple food intolerances & allergies. i hear how she wasn't sure if rice krispie treats are gluten & dairy free at school, so she instead grabbed some chocolate rice cakes from her snack bag at school (her teacher keeps this on hand for these times)...& then she comes home & tells me how good those chocolate rice cakes were. my dear, sweet adeline. as we drive past dairy queen, or see other kids getting ice cream & other such treats, she will watch them eat it & i can see how much she wants them...but instead she just sighs & says to me: aaahhh, dairy free! usually we have something for her, but we can't always be ready, so sometimes...she just goes into self denial mode...
then lesson 2: the laura ingalls wilder books. or any pioneers, or native americans for that matter (as my mom pointed out yesterday). it was basically the pioneer life, moving from where it was a bit more comfy but as more populated to a land where they may not have much all winter (we are reading the long winter right now to adeline, so this is particularly evident!). so i read a chapter & think to myself: i would not have made a good pioneer...could i eat nearly the same thing every day? could i go without light in the evenings, going to bed at 6 p.m. during the winter to save kerosene & such? i dunno.
then lesson 3: wes. he has gone without ice cream & sweet treats & coffee right along with me. that is self denial in its purest form. we have it in the house & yet he sat there with me, eating kale chips instead. & he has done this for years, going without gluten most of the time & without complaints. this husband of mine...is just so good to me. & good at denying things for himself to make my denying things easier. *sigh* what a man.
lesson 4: hello, veggies & fruits. you are a bit yummy, aren't you? in the week of the worst of this cleanse, when i could only eat a handful of fruits & veggies & beans i picked up this fugi apple & it was just so delicious. i was in awe of how a simple apple could taste so good...how often do i think of that as being the sweet treat instead of a whoopie pie? & kale chips...i used to think they were a bit, interesting. & theones from the store are pretty gross. but! making them myself, with a little salt, olive oil, & nutritional yeast & then baked...well, they are quite good! & healthy. amazing.
***
what else...?
amelia. year 4...has been so, so different than year 3. she has matured in many ways...many glorious ways. as in falling asleep by herself! apparently year 3 was just full of sleep issues & now she's over it somehow. at home she will sit & practice something (writing, coloring, drawing, games, puzzles, etc) for as long as it takes to perfect it. her attention span has increased to nearly what my attention span is, for real. i'm shocked.
she's there helping me bake. & let me tell you, she knows how to even out the flour with a knife, how to crack an egg, cut butter up...she knows that to add sugar & egg together means we have to let it beat together for a few minutes. i love it, her being there with me, washing her hands so carefully then telling me with her wee little pointer finger shaking at me: mommy, i make sure my fingers are CLEAN so i don't get any ggguuurrms (germs)!"
other times amelia will grab a lego set, such as the friends dog house...then she'll take it apart, get the little directions book & put it back together with a little help from me. it totally amazes me how her brain works with legos & puzzles. i think she will be a tetris star eventually...
when we get home from dropping addy at school, amelia just looks at me & asks, what are we going to do today, mommy? & she wants to plan it out...these two girls could be event planners. addy will plan out the day or even next weekend, down to what we eat, what we do in between bigger events. it's hilarious. & frustrating. because if for any reason those plans don't happen: the drama, oh the drama, right? ugh.
the favorite game being played here is called "friends travel"...the two kiddos pack their bags with clothes, pack up their dolls with their wee suitcases, set up a car or airplane or whatever & go to a certain destination. sometimes they don't want me involved at all, as if my imagination is not up to par to their wonderful world of make believe. which, it probably isn't! but what it all comes down to: my house can be completely overrun by "friends travel" plans in less than an hour. i can be downstairs sorting & folding laundry for 20 minutes & come back to doll/friends land explosion. i must remind myself that this is totally okay. my kids are living in their imagination instead of tv world, this is good, right? playland can be cleaned up...
***
I.E.P. PANDAS....this has been so entirely frustrating. medical bills. pre-authorization. insurance phone conversations. diagnosis. federal disability laws. OMT appointments. physical therapy or acupuncture? more blood work or another audiogram? school audiologist or private? dietician or doctor?
thankfully wes has taken care of most of the medical & insurance stuff. just because i'm what we call now, the closer. the bad cop. when the insurance needs are hard line talker, it's me. wes is the negotiator. don't you love it? *smile* it can all just get a bit overwhelming, however, mentally & financially, you know? but it seems one day wes will be worried about it all & that just so happens to be the day that i'm feeling optimistic about it all. then the next day we switch roles & he's able to give me that hug & tell me we'll get through this.
anyway, folks, i've drank my cup of coffee. the snow is coming down, finally. we have a grandma in the house for the weekend (yes, the girls are overjoyed!!). legos & doll clothes are out & i even have a written grocery list for later...AND i get to hold a wee little newborn today, sweet little aoifa...& hug my dear friend, the new mama....& coffee is back in my life! hello, my dear friend. i've missed you. but i have noticed that i take much less sugar in my coffee now. which is good. because sugar is kinda like gluten, i've discovered this past month: it's in everything! a can of beans. marinara sauce. why?!
enough of this rambling...
You have to be officially "cleansed" of any and all contaminants!! Good job!!
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