thursday i made my daughter cry. really, is that so unusual as a parent, to make your 5 or 7 year old cry? nope...at least for my gals. it was absolutely unintentional. you see, addy is very social, an extrovert, loves to talk. and by love i mean the girl talks NONSTOP. i'm on introvert, right? we will teach each other so much, her & i. amelia is a determined little girl. i'm not sure yet if she's introvert or extrovert...my guess leans towards introvert but every once in awhile she surprises us.
anyway. back to the story. so i woke up in deep pain in my hips, shoulders, & neck, migraine on the verge. i just needed quiet in the morning to do some stretching & then lay down in my Shavasana pose for 5 or more minutes. stave off the migraine, right, at all costs.
but no. addy jumps in bed after she was crying about being grounded from tv/friends/electronics for 2 days (for lying...twice!). so i chat with her a bit, jump in the shower to loosen up the muscles. & of course when i get out, the girls are right there. moms have no privacy, eh? head aching.muscles sore. ears ringing louder than the norm. head swimming. adeline talking to me in a constant stream of thought...it's so interesting to hear what 7 year olds think (most of the time).
i'm trying to not be a mom who barely listens to what my kids are saying. i want to listen with my all, be in the moment or whatever. with amelia, it's easy: she hardly tells me anything. i have to pry it from her, mostly asking questions that relate to her doll. (seriously! that doll is real in her mind, i swear). with adeline, if i dare ask a question...it stops her continuous steam of consciousness talking, a question will, then she answers & somehow goes right back to something else. & the whole time have i mentioned that she's typically jumping up & down or doing the scissors with her legs or jumping on the small indoor trampoline we have or twirling her hair into knots...or doing all things possible with all limbs & fingers & toes. she's in movement constantly, especially her jaw!
so when she reads this in a few years after she's put together that i write this blog about family stuff...i'm sure they will realize they can find much info via this blog. my cussing & all (it's not like they don't hear that in real life, if only every now & then from my lips. eeks, i know, i know. shame shame). maybe then addy will read this & laugh remembering this event (the girl remembers EVERYTHING. it freaks me out) & maybe, just maybe she'll understand what i was trying to say instead of what she thought i was trying to say.
here it is. it took every fiber of me, every atom or molecule or whatever to concentrate on what she was saying that morning. bad morning, remember? so...i tuned out for a minute thinking of how to ask her to stop talking (aside from the obvious: asking her to stop. which i tried & she tried & we were back to the original predicament). so i did interrupt her saying something like: have you ever noticed that you & i are different, in ways that we talk to other people?
she gave me this OMG-MOM look & began describing to me everything that's different about her & i. *sigh* so i tried again: have you ever heard of introvert & extrovert? people who like to talk to others & be social & then other people who like to be alone & quiet & observe?
this stopped her! i went on, saying that she's an extrovert & what that entails (briefly) & then that i'm an introvert...which means i like to be alone sometimes & to have quiet...and since i have fibromyalgia that sometimes means other things too, like i have a headache or sometimes even my ears hurt. and sometimes i like to hear quiet. ... and then said this was one of those times. if i could have 5 minutes of quiet to lay here, to loosen my muscles & let my head stop hurting.
so she quietly asked if i don't like to hear her talking? does her talking hurt my head? do i always want to be alone? why are we different? do you not like to talk to me?
and with each quick question she asked, her eyes reddened & tears sprung up, spilling down her cheeks.
shit. (or as addy thinks we are saying: SHINT! *big smile*). it's the morning & i just made her cry & it made my head hurt worse than just listening to her talk.
so i quickly tried to fill-in the gaps in my explanation: that i love to hear her talk & how long i waited to hear what she had to say, & how special it is to me that she tells me everything on her mind. ... somehow we moved past it. truth: i suggested she get an american doll book for me to read to her. that can help mend many of her wounds right now. (much to my distress...it's not good literature! i'm trying to push Black Beauty right now...but do you realize how hard that is to push against an AG book to addy?).
within 10 minutes, she seemed back to normal & was soon off to school. i'm not sure what's behind me telling this story to my blog folks...other than, daggit. parenting.
***
so, amelia is determined, right? or stubborn, as a few have said. she's mostly quiet in public but at home is a loud, rowdy, in-your-face child. and quick to tantrum...but also quick to hug & giggle& my-oh-my, she's simply hilarious. & as she tells some: she's studying to be an artist when she grows up. (those are her very words). but i'm trying to keep her entertained, hoping to keep her tantrums at bay. because really, the only time she tantrums is when we tell her no. she abhors the word no, more than anything in the world she tells me. it sounds easy enough, right? just don't say no to her. ugh.
in the morning after taking addy to school usually millie bean gets to watch a pbs show...& if you know how the pbs shows go, after a 10 minute segment & at the end of the show is a quick ditty of DIY crafts or something similar. so this week amelia wants to do those crafts immediately. so i'm game, right? (& it IS helping lower her tantrums, this hands-on, mommy/millie time, saying yes about the things that are possible. stupendous!). and these projects always find a way to use lots & lots of scotch tape. holy hell, people!
lately she's also into dying paper with food coloring. she picks a color, grabs some white paper & mixes it all together in a big bowl of water. she calls it doing experimeriences...a word mixed of two words: experiments & experiences. ???). i'm just trying to learn to say YES instead of NO, letting go of some cleanliness along the way...because usually i'm cleaning during these experimerience times. so less clean house but happier millie. so it goes.
and beauty shop on the daddy-man
***
well, well, well. it's again painting time! we're giving the hallway yellow a refresher coat, as well as some white trim refresher coats...then painting the stairs! finally. the color is (drum roll) coral. i love it! so this picture below is with full-coated yellow, tortured white trim, & only 1 coat of the coral. go big or don't go at all, right? i just kept trying to pick between black, white & gray. so we went to the HD & i found this instead. wes gave in rather quickly, my friends! i'm wearing him down. he says it's because it just suits us. i had to test a bit to see if i truly liked all the colors together...i do. so, let the painting begin.
end thought: why do the men ice skaters get to wear pants & long sleeves & the girls have to wear bathing suits or tutus? this question was asked by adeline, my dear folks. we're raising her properly. yes, it was a proud moment for me as my feminist tears stung my eyes. she also said "when i ice skate i like to have warm tights & warm pants & even leg warmers & a coat on! she has to be freezing, right? why would she wear that thing?" but seriously, can't they even figure out a way to resist the thong-undergarment thing? egads, how uncomfy would that be?
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