children.are.crazy.

***

wes: addy, you did great in soccer today, you went buck nuts all over the field!

addy, with a thoughtful look on her face: daddy, am i allergic to buck nuts?

amelia: am i allergic to buck nuts?

***

now my brother, sister, & i 20 some years ago acting out this song. i *loved* this song...somehow christian music seems to have a more authentic story to tell then, in the 70's & 80's (uh, now they just blare it at kid's practices, being rude? we're talking keith green, carman, hello to some amy grant). when the double a's allow me to pick a song to sing them at night i can never remember newer songs, mostly older songs from my childhood--a childhood that excluded most secular music--bringing back some keith green or even carman or psalty the singing songbook. i have no idea how many spring & christmas recitals were psalty the singing songbook but i can remember those songs so well. i also remember that i hated those recitals & programs, getting up on that huge stage with hundreds of people watching. ugh. i do believe most of the time i would just not go to the microphone for my solos (every kid HAD to do one, mrs curry that was just plain wrong--wait, maybe that's why i don't care for curry now, because of that name connection...)

***

again, go back around 20 some years...one of my favorite yet most terrifying moments would be playing hide & seek in the dark with my family. my dad would scare the crap out of us, holy hell! so naturally, i've been wanting to scare the crap out of my girls for years now & we've finally started playing hide & seek in the dark. the girls love it, i love it, & i love it especially because wes is too tall to hide in most places, allowing me all the good hiding spots. try it--it's awesome! (did i just sound super dorky?)

***

after the girls were in bed last night i was upstairs for a bit...when walking back downstairs i saw addy's door open, lights on in the playroom...so i every so quietly went into addy's bedroom & hid in her closet, which is right behind her bed. i heard her come back in & talk to her doll then i heard wes going up & down the steps. every time wes would go downstairs, addy would try to leave her bedroom to find something else. she would tiptoe to her door, open the knob so, so quietly to find whatever it was (a doll bottle once) then jump back in bed. this happened several times.

finally, she started to yawn (i was hiding for about 20 minutes *smile*) & began to lay down in her bed, first tucking a doll at the bottom of her bed. slowly i pulled a pillow out from beside her...i heard her gasp. then i pulled another & smacked her on the head with it. when i popped my head around the closet her eyes were nearly the entire size of her head...she just looked at me, stunned, & said: i thought you were a MONSTER! mommy, what are you doing back there?!

i highly recommend doing this; for some reason: hilarious.

***

amelia & addy love to get into bandaids & use them as stickers. but this is totally not allowed. we no longer buy the fancy ones with cartoon pictures on them, just the cheap store brand ones that leave the sticky goo on  the surrounding skin. yuck.

so the other day amelia decided to be defiant & scaled the hallway closet shelf (up about 5 feet!), grabbed the bandaid box, then proceeded to wrap 10 or so bandaids around her finger. then she used the rest of the box of bandaids as tape to hold their blankets together for a blanket & cushion fort they were building.

when i found her, with her finger wrapped up the size of rhode island, i asked her if she had a boo boo on her finger (knowing she didn't). her eyes became huge (she is a terrible, terrible liar. she has the worst poker face ever, maybe even worse than my own horrible poker face) & she put her hands up for emphasis, saying: maybweeeee i do have a boo boo from sum-tin. mayyyybweee i have a boo boo from cuh-whyyy-ming the closet to get the bandaid for my boo boo. yeah, yeah, mayybwee dat why i needed a bandaid!

i don't think she's learned the art of lying yet or the idea of a sequential storyline ....

addy just looked at her, exasperated, saying: amelia, that doesn't make sense!

which made amelia repeat her non-sequential lie once again & again & again, ending in a fight between the two of them, ending them both sequestered outside.

where they then got into the sandbox without asking (totally not allowed right now because the sandbox is filled with lots of water & a wee bit of sand, because they seem to have a knack for getting sand all around the box & then leaving the lid off right before a week of rain). anyway. it was quite a day, including a trip to the library where the nannied boy ran out of the bathroom door that addy held open for him (while i was in a stall helping amelia hurry her pooh along)...he was holding the end of a roll of toilet paper from another stall. he had this look of total glee & orneriness.

ugh.