parent fail

so here we go: i like my house to be tidy. i think i've mentioned this before...that i like things organized but not necessarily squeaky clean. so doing the kid thing with their stuff all up in my space gets a bit frustrating. i've designated baskets for their toys, then shelves, then a corner here & there & finally the biggest bedroom has been a playroom for 2 years. plus their own bedroom, plus all the other aforementioned baskets & cupboards & corners.

& still, i am tripping over their toys, putting their stuff away, singing the clean up song mostly to myself, & reminding myself that they are still learning to pick up, put away. the girls have actually done fairly well at keeping their stuff organized. until this summer.

this summer it seems the shit has hit the fan on several levels for our family. we're dealing with some intense behavior problems adjustments for the kids (in turn, behavior adjustments for us as parents *smile*), letting some neurosis of mine go (re: sandbox), & now we are smacking down on toy clutter.

it started with a chore chart. simple chores like brushing teeth & hair, taking plates over to the sink, picking up your toys after you are finished playing with them, etc. i wanted to start the chore list with things they could already do--really, things they should already be doing, right?! so they get a star on each chore at the end of the day then at the end of the week we add & subtract stars (if they don't get a star, that takes away from the ultimate goal: allowance). they have a possibility of nearly $4 every week. each chore or star is five cents.

are you following me? (i get fuzzy with math) so if they do each chore daily, they could get about $4. right? this week the girls have been talking about the money we will give them & how wonderful it will be.

however. they have regressed in behavior & obeying so much that amelia only earned 10 cents & adeline 45 cents. but when we told them their total earned allowances (10 & 45 cents) compared to the $4 their eyes widened & they shouted with glee & began jabbering with each other about how much money they were getting.

so the parenting fail comes from the realization that kids this age don't really have a strong grasp on money or numbers. i think we will revert to a more immediate daily reward, such as a sucker or something (it worked for potty training!). ugh.

& now to add that parent fail to this parent fail: we have been taking any toys left laying around, not put away, down to the basement. this has been going on for 8 days now & still--they refuse to put their toys away. *SIGH* (did you hear that sigh from me? the sigh of frustration, of disbelief, of wonderment, of...). i would estimate 80% of their toys are in the basement...even amelia's beloved dolls are down there. so then they dig through the rest of the toys, find something to play with & are happy.

so yea, next weekend is the community garage sale in our neighborhood. i'm not going to buy a plot over at the school like they suggest, but i am going to put about 75% of our toys out in the driveway, along with garage sale signs pointing the way. they just have too much--even the girls have said that a few times (adeline: " maybe i should give some of my toys away to other kids. i don't need all these toys!") so now i'm going to take them up on that offer. huh, i might even have a big FREE sign out there...

it's possible that we are just in an adjustment stage, between being a house of toddlers & preschoolers to a house with the preschoolers (amelia is so very much in between, although she would tell you how mature she is, of course).

***

last saturday adeline spent the day & night with my parents. she was totally giddy about this & had an amazing time. hopefully wes can figure out how to get this video my parents sent us of addy doing her best to look menacing to the pitcher (my dad) during a game of backyard baseball. it's totally hilarious!

so that left amelia with wes & i. & yes, amelia missed her sister like i am missing winter right now...but...amelia didn't really stop smiling & giggling & loving on wes & i the entire time. recently amelia has been very mean to wes & only wants me to do everything for her (it's highly frustrating for everyone) but saturday she let that go & followed either of us around. we went to the pool, to chipotle (so she could have her black beans & cheese & rice), we dug in the yard, we filled water balloons--all with amelia talking non stop, laughing, giving us hugs & kisses.

we snuggled on the couch, her little body squeezed between wes & i. it was such a sweet time, really. so, thanks mom & dad!