stress

first today was a post to talk about the love of parenting. now is a post to talk about how frustrating & utterly defeating it is to be a parent. & on npr right now is some seriously awesome bossa nova music, so that makes me a bit happier. but still. stressed to the max.

as i've alluded to, adeline the ability to become highly anxious about some things life throws her way. like new shoes. or a different color soccer jersey. or riding in a car longer than 5 minutes. or denim--she abhorres denim. she loves consistency & routine & has the ability to plan out the week with admirable skill. have i mentioned her amazing & sometimes freakish memory? she can remember what went on years ago, down to the outfits & weather & emotions from that day.

& i love all of this about her because it is adeline. however, some of it needs to change because it is frustrating. we simply have to drive longer than 5 minutes or change plans & such...life is all about change & to a young kid who loves routine--well, as her parents its about figuring out how to make that all work out & make sense to her 4 year old self.

i don't really like to talk about some of these struggles on this blog mainly because i don't want addy to come back in 10 years asking why i talked about her struggles to the internet world. right? but sometimes her struggles are my struggles & that means that i have to find coping skills & writing in this blog is one that is highly effective for me. so maybe i need to find a journal or something, or a more private blog? anyway. not sure...

so i'll be vague about some things, please accept any level of confusion you may experience.

the past week has included 7 or so parenting challenges, times when wes & i are at a total loss over what to do. but once those moments pass, we are doing great. so yea, who knows. one moment i'm ready to quit the mom-job, feeling like i have no clue how to help my kids (because combine a spunky, curious, feisty & plain old typical 3 year old with the issues addy's been having lately & that equals the amazing parenting challenges!)...then the realization hits that we are blessed with two girls who are funny & honest & just trying to figure out life--it humbles me to be their mom, the one they turn to (although addy's shaping up to be a daddy's girl right now--which is pretty adorable). 

anyway. i'm guessing that's about all i have time for this morning. ugh. sigh. argh.