customer service-schmervice

so i ordered a two-piece bathing suit from land's end last week. i decided on this combination (it was 30% off, plus free shipping! ). since this was my first time shopping with land's end i astutely followed their size guidelines, & even gave myself some wiggle room on the bottoms (read: once size up from what they recommended). my mom was here when i measured, so she can even attest to this fact of me putting that tape all the way around my torso in some odd & freakish way...& then correlating the numbers to the sizes. blah blah blah. hate.bathing.suits.

so the two piece came in the mail yesterday. i was so not overjoyed about trying it on & put it off until i was alone in a darkened bedroom (30 minutes ago). i tried the top on first & then felt like my chest was being shrink-wrapped. obviously, not a good sign. so, for kicks & giggles i tried the bottoms on...that sight was much less appealing, with skin that is not usually clumped being formed into clumps & then pushed out of the sides of the suit bottoms.

so i said a few swear words, put my wonderfully fitting jeans & crew neck shirt back on then trudged downstairs to do what any woman in my situation would do: i ate 3 (hhmm, or was it 4?) chocolate chip cookies, drank a cup of milk, flung the bathing suits back in their packages & called land's end customer service. 

i ordered the next size up. then the kind woman said something to the effect of 'notice at the bottom of your return shipping label you are responsible for the return shipping fee'. 

no you didn't just say that, kind woman. i could feel my face getting hot, my voice cold & loud. (yes, enter scary music here). i said i was  not willing to pay the return shipping cost when i followed their size guidelines to a tee. that these are my normal sizes to begin with, so it's not like i'm allowing myself to order a size too small, knowing they wouldn't fit. i said this is poor customer service.

she said i could go to a near-by sear's & return it free of charge.

i said it seems a bit ridiculous to order a suit online for the convenience of it all & then be asked to go to a store to return the ill-fitting suit. i mean, where's the convenience in that?

she transferred me to her supervisor. her supervisor repeated the same bs that her minion had just spouted off to me from their memorized customer relations cheat-sheet. then she asked if i lived near a sears.

i answered that is not the point (thinking that she may be able to tell that i live 5 miles from a sear's store). the point is that i ordered online for a reason, which includes not being able to take my two toddlers with me to shop for a bathing suit. i followed their size guidelines, i ordered, tried it on & it doesn't fit. i also said something along the lines of & no, i have not gained any weight from a week ago.

she said that this is their typical return policy & that i could just go to a sear's store. etc

i let her babble on for a minute while she ordered the next size up for me. then i started in again, this time leading in with: i don't see how this is even *good* customer service. how is it my fault, the extra return shipping cost (yes, all of $7, but still! principle, folks, principle!) landing on my account when i simply followed what your site said to order? i then said that i will not drive to a store with my kids hanging on me just b/c their size charts are incorrect. i blabbered on that this is my first & last time shopping with land's end. that this is very poor customer service.

she waited a few seconds, then politely said that in my circumstances, they will allow me to return these two pieces free of charge.

i said thank you, how thoughtful! seriously, the whole bathing suit situation is frustrating enough to women, why make it even more-so? but why do they wait until you have pushed their customer service reps to do what should already be done? i understand if i'm all 'this color is stupid!' but when i'm ordering the same things, just a size up (i was even ready to give her my measurements over the phone). they're just trying to get even more money...i know it doesn't cost $7 to ship a half pound swimsuit (probably just to another part of the midwest) so who's getting the rest of that money?

today (as with most days) capitalism sucks. i think i'll start a movement that involves not forcing people to wear bathing suits--or clothes!--just to rip off the clothing industry suckers. sure, i'll show my 2-kid-breastfeed-breasts (& pouchy belly) off to the masses just to piss off some clothing exec. (today, probably not on that actual day, but it's good in theory right now).

i'm just tired of every stinkin' store trying to dig even deeper into my pockets with stupid stuff like this. sure, if it costs more to make it--fine. but adding all these extra fees & such is just not right.

but today, i won! (well, not if you consider that i don't fit into that damn suit size...it's like maternity clothes: take your normal size, add 2 or 3 sizes & then it will fit). argh, bathing suits!